This is a wonderful video of Brené Brown. She’s truly an inspired story teller – or “magic pixie”!
She explains how it’s OK to let go of the appearance of being in control, and to expose your soft underbelly from time to time. In fact, your business pretty much depends on it. It’s the best way to show your authenticity as a vulnerable human being.
Life is messy. Everyone’s life – not just yours. You have no control over that, so you might as well accept it! By hiding the details of your messy life, you deny people the opportunity to connect with you at a soul level. I know this, because that’s what I used to do.
In the past, when potential clients got too close – got close to asking the question “can you help me?” – I would put up a barrier. I didn’t realise it at the time. It’s something that’s only become evident quite recently.
I was afraid that they would ask me to help them in a way that I couldn’t – or didn’t want to. I was afraid that I wouldn’t know how to help them. Mostly, though, I was afraid because I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANTED!
I couldn’t see that asking the question “what do you need?” would elicit an answer that I could either respond to with “yes, I can help” or “no, I can’t help”. But without asking that question, I was like a dehydrated woman at an oasis, without a glass or a cup to collect water to drink!
The problem was, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to help. I was afraid of not being an expert – of having nothing to offer.
I had got so used to being an expert in my previous role, as a business analyst and project manager in corporate IT, and when I left that behind and started my own business as a coach, it felt uncomfortable not having that certainty that, no matter what problem was presented to me, I could solve it.
As a coach, though, it wasn’t even my role to solve the problem. My role was to facilitate the finding of a solution. And I know I can do that!
So it’s OK not to have all the answers. It’s OK to be a little afraid from time to time. As Brené Brown says – it’s OK to be vulnerable.